Paper Towns

I just read Paper Towns by John Green and it was a pleasant experience and I highly recommend the book, especially if you are feeling lost or like you are paper thin.

It was a fresh perspective to a dilema I've had for a long time now, that I keep addressing but was never able to quite solve it, I mean I got better at dealing with it, but I think reading this book was a huge step towards mental healthiness.

I always had this expectation of what I wanted to be or how I was supposed to be in order to be liked and accepted, I kept trying to be a concept, to be a paper person, to cover my flaws and bury them where nobody would see and that creates a lot of insecurities.

I guess that is why it was always so hard for me to let people get near, because up close it is really hard to hide your imperfections, I was always afraid people would see them and leave me.

The book helped me see that I don't have to be anything really, not a miracle, not a saint, nor perfect, because I already am all of that and more, I can't fit in any of these one concepts because they are too shallow to cover a real person. I can't be a concept, a paper person, because being real gives you too much depth for it to be possible and it is really painful to cut of parts of yourself to fit. I guess true beauty lays not in being able to completely fit and hide behind the concept, but to overflow from behind it and be able to discover that side of others and yourself. People are not paper thin, people are black holes of infinity things to discover, that's what make us all so interesting.

Another thing that occurred me is that the same way that I accept other people's flaws, if they are true friends they will accept mine in the same way, so there is no need to fear people leaving, they will stay if they value you as much as you value them, if not you are better off without them.

I picked a few parts of the book that were especially meaningful to me, but I don't want to spoil the book for my friends so I won't put them here, but I'm thinking of doing something about it, it is still a plan in development though.

Here are some drawings I made this week, thinking about it now they fit quite well with the theme of this post, even though I was thinking about something else completely when I made them, oh well it is a bonus :)

Progress!