Maybe I should make some mocha...

Time is running out, my moms keep repeating...
I know... I can feel it...
But why? Why this eternal sensation of being short on time, of the nearing end?
Am I dying? I guess I am, I guess we all are.
Or maybe I'm already dead, maybe I'm not really living and that's where this feeling comes from.
I keep on hiding and running away, but the problems always stay, only growing bigger and bigger, till they swallow you whole.
I wish the good things were like that, but they only last for that long.
I wish I had a stronger spirit. I wish I wasn't weak.
I wish I wouldn't feel so lonely all the time, but I do, as I always have.
Ever since I was small, I was lonely. I don't really know why I felt so, but most of my memories are painted in that cold blue lonely feeling, even the sunny ones, or more likely, mostly the sunny ones.

I come back to this blog everyday and even thought I'm still drawing, I don't feel like posting anything.
But I guess I should and so that's what I'm going to do.
I need to make decisions, I need to go back to being able to make the things I like without feeling guilty, without feeling like I'm wasting my life and that I'll mount to nothing.
I'll keep on fighting my own demons, keep on trying, until my weak spirit breaks.
Thanks to all my friends that by just being there and keeping me company help more than they could ever imagine.
Sorry about the sad post, just needed somewhere to throw this feeling...